Funeral Planning & Service Guide for Pastors

Initial Considerations When Asked to Conduct a Funeral

1. Be Sensitive

  • Approach every conversation with gentleness, patience, and love.

  • Acknowledge the emotional pain and grief the family is experiencing.

  • Offer prayer and spiritual support from the beginning.

2. Assess the Spiritual Context

  • Ask: Was the deceased a believer in Jesus Christ?

    • If yes – Emphasize eternal hope, assurance of heaven, and Christ’s comfort.

    • If no/uncertain – Focus on comforting the living, the hope Christ offers, and the brevity of life that reminds us to seek eternal things.

Logistical Matters to Discuss

1. Venue

  • Confirm where the funeral will be held:

    • Funeral home chapel

    • Rented church or community hall

    • Crematorium chapel

  • Check if the funeral director is arranging the venue or if the family needs help doing so.

2. Date & Schedule Coordination

  • Confirm the proposed date and time works for your schedule.

  • Be mindful of extended family members who may be involved but not directly connected to your church.

  • Clarify who is leading the overall organization — family member or funeral director?

3. Level of Involvement

Ask what the family expects of you:

  • Full Service (welcome, prayers, message, closing, etc.)

  • Partial Involvement (e.g. a short message, prayer, or scripture reading)

  • Music & Media:

    • Will there be hymns, worship songs, or instrumental pieces?

    • Are musicians or singers needed?

    • What equipment is needed (Bluetooth speaker, sound system, etc.)?

    • Who will operate the music (phone, USB, live musicians)?

Typical Funeral Service Order

This outline is flexible and can be adjusted according to the family’s wishes.

1. Entrance of the Coffin

  • Background instrumental or a chosen reflective song.

  • Invite the congregation to stand as the coffin is brought in.

2. Opening Hymn or Song

  • Congregational or pre-recorded.

  • Example: “Amazing Grace,” “It Is Well,” “How Great Thou Art.”

3. Welcome & Opening Words (Minister)

Sample Welcome:

“Good [morning/afternoon], everyone. We are gathered here today to remember and honour the life of [Full Name]. Whether you knew them as a parent, sibling, friend, or colleague, today we stand together to reflect, grieve, celebrate their life, and find comfort — not only in our memories but in God, who is close to the brokenhearted.”

4. Second Hymn or Song

(optional)

5. Reflections from a Family Member or Friend

  • A prepared speech, memories, or personal stories.

6. Bible Reading

Choose a comforting Scripture:

  • Psalm 23

  • John 14:1–6

  • 1 Thessalonians 4:13–18

7. Eulogy

  • A formal tribute to the life, values, and accomplishments of the deceased.

  • Often delivered by a close family member or friend.

8. Tributes

  • Open floor (or selected speakers) to share brief memories.

  • Example: “If you’d like to say a few words, please limit them to 2 minutes each.”

9. Third Hymn or Song

(optional)

10. Funeral Message (Short Sermon)

Key Themes to Cover:

  • Honour and celebrate the life of the deceased.

  • Acknowledge the reality of grief and the hope Christ offers.

  • Point to the nearness of God in times of sorrow.

  • Remind listeners of eternity and encourage them to reflect on life and faith.

11. Final Viewing (Paying Last Respects)

  • Invite attendees row by row if appropriate.

  • Play soft instrumental music or a reflective song.

12. Closing Prayer

Sample Prayer:

“Lord, we thank You for the life of [Name]. We are grateful for the love and memories shared. We pray for Your comfort to surround every heart present today. Give strength where there is sorrow, peace where there is pain, and hope where there is heaviness. Help us to reflect on what truly matters and draw us closer to You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

13. Exit of the Coffin

  • Ask all to stand.

  • Selected exit song or instrumental music plays.

Graveside Service (If Applicable)

This is typically more intimate and brief. Once the coffin is placed at the grave:

Suggested Words at the Graveside:

If the deceased was a believer:

“We now commit the body of [Name] to the ground, in the sure and certain hope of the resurrection through our Lord Jesus Christ. Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust. We thank You, Lord, for the life they lived and the eternal hope we have in You.”

If the faith of the deceased is uncertain:

“Lord, as we gather here, we ask for wisdom, comfort, and peace. We commit [Name] to the grave — earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Surround this family with Your love, and help us all reflect on the shortness of life and the gift of Your grace. In this moment of loss, may Your presence be our strength.”

Then allow the burial to proceed.

Final Encouragement to Pastors

  • Be adaptable and understanding.

  • Guide gently but with clarity.

  • Follow up with the family in the days or weeks after; your care may lead to greater openness to the gospel.