harmony: The fruit of true love!

Part one - the Spirit is love

Galatians 5:22 states, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control."

As Christians, we are called to be led by the Spirit in all aspects of our lives, including dating. When we are led by the Spirit, we produce the fruit of the Spirit. Therefore, when seeking a romantic relationship, we should look for someone who also exhibits the fruit of the Spirit.

Love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control are all qualities that are essential for a healthy and God-honoring relationship. These characteristics reflect the heart of Christ and help us to live in harmony with one another.

Therefore, in our pursuit of a romantic relationship, let us seek out those who exhibit the fruit of the Spirit. Let us pray for guidance and discernment, and trust in God to lead us to the person He has planned for us.

lists the works of the flesh

Galatians 5:19-21 lists the works of the flesh as "sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these."

These are all things that can easily creep into a dating relationship that is not led by the Spirit. When we are led by our sinful nature or the flesh, we are more likely to be selfish, manipulative, and unkind in our relationships. This can lead to conflict, heartbreak, and pain.

As Christians, we are called to be led by the Spirit, which produces the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). When we are led by the Spirit, we are more likely to be loving, patient, and self-controlled in our relationships. We are also more likely to seek out relationships with people who are also led by the Spirit.

Therefore, it is important for us to seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit in our dating relationships. We should strive to be spirit-led people, rather than flesh-led people, and seek out relationships with others who are also led by the Spirit. When we do this, we can trust that God will guide us in the right direction and help us to build healthy and God-honoring relationships.

Here are six questions to ask yourself to review a deep soul-searching answers about your relationship and to determine if it is led by the flesh:

  1. Am I primarily focused on physical attraction and sexual desire in this relationship? If your relationship is primarily focused on physical attraction and sexual desire, it may be a sign that it is being led by the flesh rather than by the Spirit.

  2. Am I constantly seeking to satisfy my own desires in this relationship, or am I focused on the needs and well-being of my partner? If you are primarily focused on your own desires and needs in the relationship, rather than on the needs and well-being of your partner, it may be a sign that the relationship is being led by the flesh.

  3. Are there patterns of selfishness, jealousy, anger, or other negative behaviors in our relationship? If you and your partner consistently exhibit negative behaviors such as selfishness, jealousy, anger, or other harmful behaviors, it may be a sign that the relationship is being led by the flesh.

  4. Are we making wise and God-honoring decisions in our relationship, or are we frequently compromising our values and convictions? If you and your partner are frequently compromising your values and convictions in order to maintain the relationship, it may be a sign that it is being led by the flesh rather than by the Spirit.

  5. Are we growing in our faith and becoming more Christ-like in this relationship, or are we hindering one another's spiritual growth? If your relationship is hindering your spiritual growth or causing you to stray from your faith, it may be a sign that it is being led by the flesh rather than by the Spirit.

  6. Do we have the peace of God in this relationship, or is there a constant sense of anxiety, unease, or turmoil? If you have a constant sense of anxiety, unease, or turmoil in your relationship, it may be a sign that it is being led by the flesh rather than by the Spirit. The Spirit of God brings peace and a sense of well-being to our lives and relationships.

By honestly evaluating your relationship with these questions, you can discern if it is being led by the flesh or by the Spirit, and make necessary changes to ensure that it is being led by the Spirit of God.

Here are a few scenarios from the Bible of people who were led by the flesh, and how it went bad for them:

  1. Adam and Eve: In Genesis 3, Adam and Eve were tempted by the serpent to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, even though God had warned them not to. They chose to listen to their fleshly desires and disobeyed God, which led to their expulsion from the Garden of Eden and introduced sin and death into the world.

  2. King David: In 2 Samuel 11, King David saw Bathsheba bathing on a rooftop and was overcome with desire for her. He then had an affair with her, which resulted in her becoming pregnant. David tried to cover up his sin by having her husband killed in battle, which caused great harm and sorrow for many people, including himself and his family.

  3. Samson: In Judges 16, Samson was led by his desire for a woman named Delilah, who was secretly working for his enemies. He repeatedly lied to her about the source of his strength, eventually revealing that it came from his uncut hair. Delilah then betrayed him to his enemies, who captured and blinded him.

  4. Judas Iscariot: In the Gospels, Judas Iscariot was one of Jesus' disciples, but he was also motivated by his own selfish desires. He stole from the group's money bag, and eventually betrayed Jesus to the religious authorities in exchange for thirty pieces of silver. His actions led to Jesus' arrest, trial, and crucifixion.

These examples illustrate the danger of following our fleshly desires rather than being led by the Spirit. The consequences of such actions can be severe and far-reaching, not only affecting us but also those around us. It is important for us to seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit and to resist the temptation to follow our fleshly desires.

here are some red flags that your dating relationship may be led by the flesh:

  1. physical attraction is the main focus: if the main focus of your relationship is physical attraction and sexual desire, it may be a sign that you are being led by the flesh.

  2. selfishness and lack of concern for your partner: if you are primarily focused on your own needs and desires in the relationship, and are not concerned about your partner's needs and well-being, it may be a sign that you are being led by the flesh.

  3. frequent arguments and conflicts: if you and your partner are frequently arguing and having conflicts, it may be a sign that your relationship is being led by the flesh rather than by the spirit.

  4. compromising values and convictions: if you and your partner are frequently compromising your values and convictions in order to maintain the relationship, it may be a sign that it is being led by the flesh rather than by the spirit.

  5. jealousy and possessiveness: if you or your partner are frequently jealous or possessive of each other, it may be a sign that the relationship is being led by the flesh rather than by the spirit.

  6. lack of spiritual growth and focus: if your relationship is not promoting spiritual growth and is causing you to stray from your faith, it may be a sign that it is being led by the flesh rather than by the spirit.

  7. lack of peace and contentment: if you are experiencing a constant sense of anxiety, unease, or turmoil in your relationship, it may be a sign that it is being led by the flesh rather than by the spirit. the spirit of god brings peace and a sense of well-being to our lives and relationships.

  8. it is important to evaluate your relationship regularly and to seek the guidance of the holy spirit. if you recognize these red flags in your relationship, it may be time to make some changes or even to end the relationship. it is always better to prioritize being led by the spirit rather than being led by the flesh.

it's important to repent

If you find that your relationship is driven by the flesh and lacks a spiritual foundation, there are several options to consider. Firstly, it's important to repent and turn towards the Spirit. God is always willing to forgive and enable us to start anew in Christ. As believers, we should strive to live by the Spirit and seek to be led by Him.

You may need to have a serious conversation with your partner and make some radical changes, including repentance and seeking the Spirit's guidance in the relationship. It may also be necessary to take a break from the relationship to focus on your own spiritual development, to become more mature and ready for a dating relationship with the ultimate goal of marriage.

In cases where there has been deep sexual sin, it's advisable to seek wise counsel. It's possible that the relationship has been built on something that won't last into marriage, and such issues tend to become more difficult to repair after marriage