Relational & Emotional Preparedness
Premarital Class – Lesson 3
Introduction
Emotions, communication, and personal history shape the atmosphere of any marriage. Many marriages struggle not because of finances or major decisions, but because of how people relate emotionally day to day.
Marriage is more than a contract — it’s a covenant of love, respect, and grace. The Bible says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church…” (Ephesians 5:25) and “Love is patient, love is kind…” (1 Corinthians 13). Understanding each other’s emotional needs and relationship habits is key to sustaining a healthy, long-lasting marriage.
This session is about asking: Can we really do life together for decades? Are we prepared for both the joyful and difficult seasons emotionally and relationally?
Theme:
Can you do life together for decades?
Main Scriptures:
• Ephesians 5:21–33 – “Love and respect…”
• 1 Corinthians 13 – “Love is patient, love is kind…”
• Proverbs 18:22 – “He who finds a wife finds a good thing…”
Key Topics
Communication Styles
• Are we open, honest, and humble when we talk?
• How do we communicate during disagreement or stress?
• Do we listen well, or do we dominate conversations?
Emotional Intelligence
• Do we understand each other’s emotional needs and triggers?
• Can we express both positive and negative emotions in healthy ways?
• Do we practice empathy, patience, and kindness?
Love & Respect
• Do we both feel loved, respected, and valued in this relationship?
• Are we familiar with and applying the Ephesians 5 model (love for the wife, respect for the husband)?
• Do we know each other’s love languages and try to meet them?
Family Background
• How were we each raised (family culture, traditions, emotional patterns)?
• How do those backgrounds shape our expectations in marriage?
• Are there unspoken habits or “normals” we’ve assumed that need to be clarified?
Forgiveness
• Can we both forgive and move forward?
• Do we tend to hold grudges, bring up old issues, or withdraw emotionally?
• How do we seek and give forgiveness when we fail each other?
Expectations
• What are our real, everyday expectations of a husband/wife?
• Have we discussed things like how we handle stress, free time, hospitality, or work-life balance?
• Are our expectations shaped by scripture or just personal preference?
Key Conversations to Have Together
• What emotional wounds or past trauma do we carry? How have we healed or are healing?
• What does love look like to each of us (love languages)?
• How do we handle stress, disappointment, or discouragement?
• How do we feel about each other’s family, friends, and outside relationships?
• Are there past relationship patterns we need to be aware of and guard against?
Red Flags to Watch For
• Avoiding deep emotional conversations
• Unresolved trauma or emotional baggage
• Controlling, manipulative, or emotionally closed-off behavior
• Unrealistic expectations or entitlement
• Persistent selfishness or unwillingness to sacrifice