Class One: Walking in the Spirit
Galatians 5:16-26 (NKJV)
16 I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. 17 For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law...
Part One: The Flesh vs. The Spirit in Dating
As Christians, we are called to be led by the Spirit in all aspects of our lives, including dating. When we are led by the Spirit, we produce the fruit of the Spirit:
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control" (Galatians 5:22-23).
When seeking a romantic relationship, we should look for someone who also exhibits these qualities. A relationship that is Spirit-led will reflect the heart of Christ, fostering love and harmony between both individuals.
The Works of the Flesh
Galatians 5:19-21 lists the works of the flesh:
"Sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these."
A dating relationship that is driven by the flesh will often include selfishness, manipulation, impurity, and unkindness, leading to conflict, heartbreak, and spiritual compromise.
Biblical Examples of Flesh-Led Relationships:
Adam and Eve (Genesis 3) – Disobedience to God led to sin entering the world.
King David and Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11) – Lust led to adultery and murder.
Samson and Delilah (Judges 16) – Fleshly desires led to betrayal and downfall.
Judas Iscariot (Matthew 26) – Greed and selfish ambition led to betraying Christ.
These examples warn us of the dangers of following fleshly desires instead of being Spirit-led.
Self-Examination: Is Your Relationship Led by the Flesh?
Here are six key questions to help discern whether your relationship is Spirit-led or flesh-led:
Is physical attraction and sexual desire the main focus?
Am I more focused on my own desires rather than my partner’s well-being?
Are there patterns of selfishness, jealousy, anger, or negative behavior?
Are we making God-honoring decisions or compromising our values?
Is this relationship helping us grow spiritually or pulling us away from God?
Do we experience peace in our relationship, or is there constant anxiety and turmoil?
If you recognize any of these signs, it is time to seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit to align your relationship with God’s will.
Red Flags That Your Relationship is Led by the Flesh
Physical attraction is the main focus.
Frequent arguments and conflicts.
Jealousy and possessiveness.
Compromising values and convictions.
Lack of spiritual growth and focus.
Lack of peace and contentment.
A relationship led by the flesh will often result in pain, regret, and separation from God’s plan.
Repentance and Realignment with the Spirit
If your relationship is driven by the flesh, it is important to:
Repent – Turn away from sinful behavior and seek God’s forgiveness (1 John 1:9).
Have a serious conversation – Discuss spiritual realignment with your partner.
Seek spiritual maturity – Focus on growing in your relationship with God before pursuing romance.
Seek wise counsel – If there has been deep sexual sin or emotional brokenness, talk to a trusted pastor or mentor.
Be willing to let go – If the relationship is unhealthy, trust God for a better future.
"If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit." (Galatians 5:25)
When we submit our relationships to God’s will, we allow Him to lead us into healthy, Christ-centered partnerships.
Reflection & Prayer
Spend time in prayer, asking God to reveal areas in your relationship where you need to be more Spirit-led. Trust in His guidance and surrender your desires to Him.
Next Class: The Characteristics of a Spirit-Led Relationship
This study is meant to help those thinking of dating or currently dating to walk in the Spirit rather than the flesh. Keep seeking God’s wisdom and trust in His perfect plan for your life!