Class Six: Self-Control and Christ-Likeness
Galatians 5:22-23 (NKJV)
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law."
Self-Control and Christ-Likeness in Dating
Self-control is one of the essential fruits of the Spirit that helps us align our lives with God’s will. Self-control involves mastery over our desires and actions, resisting temptations, and exercising discipline in our thoughts, words, and behavior. It is deeply connected to Christ-likeness, as Jesus Himself exhibited perfect self-control in all areas of His life.
1. Self-Control: Mastering Our Desires
The Greek word for self-control in Galatians 5:22 is "enkrateia," which means having power over one's desires and passions. This self-discipline enables us to make godly choices rather than acting on impulse.
"Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control." (Proverbs 25:28)
To cultivate self-control:
Exercise discipline in thoughts, words, and actions.
Resist temptation and choose obedience to God.
Rely on the Holy Spirit to develop self-restraint.
2. Christ-Likeness: Reflecting Jesus in Our Lives
Self-control is closely linked to Christ-likeness. As we cultivate self-control, we reflect Jesus' character, demonstrating love, patience, and obedience to God.
"Whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked." (1 John 2:6)
To pursue Christ-likeness:
Make deliberate choices to honor God.
Seek spiritual growth through prayer and Scripture.
Model Jesus’ humility, love, and self-control in all relationships.
Signs Someone Lacks Self-Control and Christ-Likeness
Here are three key indicators that someone has not yet developed Spirit-led self-control and Christ-likeness:
Lack of Discipline – Struggling with maintaining routines or following through on commitments.
Impulsivity – Acting on emotions or desires without considering the consequences.
Addictive Behavior – Being unable to control impulses in areas such as food, substances, or unhealthy habits.
Self-Examination: Do You Walk in Self-Control and Christ-Likeness?
A deep soul-searching question to ask yourself:
Do I consistently demonstrate self-control in all areas of my life, even in situations where it may be challenging or inconvenient?
Consider:
Do I resist temptation and make choices that honor God?
Am I deliberate in how I speak, act, and think?
Do I strive to reflect Christ in my daily life?
Pursuing Self-Control and Christ-Likeness in Relationships
To cultivate Spirit-led self-control and Christ-likeness in dating:
Seek a partner who exhibits these traits – Look for someone who is disciplined, spiritually mature, and Christ-centered.
Develop these qualities in yourself – Grow in self-discipline and spiritual maturity to reflect Jesus in all relationships.
Pray for strength and guidance – Trust the Holy Spirit to help you exercise self-control and become more Christ-like.
"If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit." (Galatians 5:25)
A relationship built on self-control and Christ-likeness fosters spiritual growth, mutual respect, and a God-honoring foundation.
Final Thoughts: Striving for Christ-Likeness in All Areas
A person who embodies the fruit of the Spirit is a suitable candidate for a Christ-centered relationship and marriage. These qualities should be evident in their daily life—through their faithfulness in prayer, church involvement, and interactions with others. While no one is perfect, a committed Christian should continually strive for spiritual growth and maturity.
The ultimate goal in any relationship is not just to date or marry, but to grow in Christ and prepare for eternity. We should self-reflect regularly, ensuring that we are actively cultivating the fruit of the Spirit.
"Well done, good and faithful servant." (Matthew 25:21)
As we progress in dating and marriage, the pursuit of the fruit of the Spirit should remain a lifelong commitment. This requires honesty, self-reflection, and a focus on spiritual development rather than just the relationship itself.
By striving to be more like Christ, we ensure that our relationships align with God’s will and that we build a foundation that honors Him.
This concludes our Harmony: The Fruit of True Love study series. May your relationships be guided by the Spirit, filled with love, and rooted in Christ-likeness.